A Mother’s Strength: Kim’s Story of Love, Loss and Advocacy
Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the strength, love and resilience of moms everywhere, especially those who have faced the unimaginable. For cancer moms like Kim, motherhood has been shaped by moments of fear and unwavering devotion. Through it all, the power of community can bring comfort and hope in these difficult times. In this heartfelt Q&A, Kim shares her journey, the challenges she faced and the inspiration that keeps her going, reminding us all why supporting pediatric cancer research matters, today and every day.
Can you tell us about the moment you first learned about Arden’s diagnosis?
Kim: When Arden was almost 9 months old, she had been acting ‘off’ for a couple of weeks (not eating as much and sleeping more than normal). Our pediatrician thought maybe she was teething and set us up for a Monday morning weight check and a well-visit checkup. That Sunday afternoon, Arden took an unusually long nap and when she finally woke up, we noticed that her tummy felt hard in one spot. Out of an abundance of caution, our pediatrician sent us to the ER to run some bloodwork. To our total shock, the ER doctor told us that Arden had cancer and he thought it was neuroblastoma. We lived in a small town at the time and the closest children’s hospital was 2.5 hours away. Arden and I hopped into an ambulance and my husband followed us to the hospital. She and I never went back to that house again. We were two weeks away from moving for my husband’s new job, so she received one round of chemo at that hospital and then we moved to Texas for the remainder of her treatment. During these first few hours and days, I really thought that the doctors had gotten something wrong. I questioned the diagnosis: maybe we were in such a small hospital, perhaps they didn’t have the resources or expertise to fully understand what was wrong with her?
What were some of the biggest challenges you faced during her treatment?
Kim: I think there are always so many unexpected challenges anytime someone undergoes cancer treatment: you must expect the unexpected and be ready to be flexible. But with Arden, one of the biggest challenges was simply her age. A 9-month-old can’t fully communicate what she is feeling, needing or experiencing. What did I miss in those early days because she couldn’t yet talk? What if she could have verbalized sooner what she was feeling? Could we have gotten her treatment earlier and saved her life? Similarly, because she was so young and wasn’t potty trained, we had to wake her every few hours for a diaper change when she was getting chemo to make sure that any fluids leaving her body didn’t sit on her skin too long, which could lead to a rash or infection. The already sleepless nights at the hospital were doubly draining with so many interruptions.
Also, no one expects to get a cancer diagnosis; there’s never an optimal time to have your world upended, but this disease doesn’t stop for anything. We were in the middle of moving to a new state for a new job and we were trying to get those major life changes nailed down while also figuring out how to take care of a very sick child. We lived in a hotel for a few days, then in an apartment and later went house hunting in between chemo sessions. It was chaotic and overwhelming to try to juggle all the day-to-day tasks in a new place where we didn’t have a support system, on top of doing all the things we needed to for Arden’s demanding treatment schedule.
Were there moments or people who gave you strength or comfort?
Kim: We are lucky to have an amazing support system. We had just moved to a new state for Arden’s treatment so we didn’t have a large group locally to lean on, but our network helped us long distance. Our friends built us a “care calendar” where people could sign up to bring us a home-cooked meal or send us a care package during treatment. People from every part of our lives showed up in a big way to let us know we weren’t alone: people we hadn’t seen since high school brought us food, the parents of my college friend let us stay at their house even though we had never met them before and family regularly visited to lend a set of hands to care for Arden and for us.
What inspired you to get involved with Cookies for Kids’ Cancer?
Kim: I was really drawn to Cookies for Kids’ Cancer because it was founded by a neuroblastoma mom just like me who knows firsthand the importance and urgent time sensitivity of finding a cure.
What keeps you motivated to continue advocating for pediatric cancer research?
Kim: Asking for help is not my forte. But anytime I feel overwhelmed by the idea of soliciting support for our fundraising campaign, I always think first about my daughter. I know Arden would have wanted me to keep going even on the hard days and do what I can to help find a cure. And while cancer families can’t fund the research all on our own, I do wholeheartedly believe that as a group we can transform the way cancer is treated.
Secondly, I think of the parents who are sitting in a hospital room right now, just like we were 13 years ago, feeling heartbroken and daunted at the cancer battle ahead. I want them to know beating cancer is a team sport: we’re in this with them, feverishly working on a cure so they can focus on caring for their child.
What does it mean to you that research funded by Cookies for Kids’ Cancer has contributed to new treatments and in your eyes, what sets the organization apart?
Kim: Cookies for Kids’ Cancer stands out to me because the people at the helm of this organization are personally invested in their results. Their team is made up primarily of people who are parents, relatives and friends of cancer fighters and they know firsthand why the mission is important. And secondly, the Cookies for Kids’ Cancer Medical Board gives me the confidence to know that world-renowned experts are reviewing every grant application and directing funds toward the research that is most likely to be successful in the shortest amount of time. Every minute counts for a kid with cancer.
What message would you like to share with supporters this Mother’s Day?
Kim: Arden’s 9 months of treatment illuminated the greatest maternal figures in my orbit, people who (as every good mother does) made me and my little family unit feel seen, cared for and loved. Motherhood has taught me the value of community because we are not meant to do it all alone. We are that proverbial village that we have all been waiting for. Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate the mothers in our lives and recognize the care and love that they pour into their children. I cannot think of a better way to honor cancer moms this year than committing to support the research that is needed to find a cure for their little cancer fighters.
How did Arden’s diagnosis change your outlook on motherhood?
Kim: I was barely nine months into motherhood when Arden was diagnosed with cancer. I was still fumbling along trying to make heads or tails of how to be a mother, let alone a cancer mom. Arden’s cancer journey accelerated my learning, compelled me to be a better advocate and shed new light on the meaning of sacrifice and devotion.
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Kim’s story is a powerful reminder that motherhood, even in its most difficult moments, is rooted in fierce love, resilience and unwavering hope. This Mother’s Day, her journey calls on all of us to show up for families facing pediatric cancer, not only with compassion, but with action. By supporting research and standing alongside these parents, we can help turn heartbreak into progress and move closer to a future where no family is told “we have run out of options”.
